Stepping into a leadership role is always a big change. But when the people you’re now leading used to be your peers, the challenge can feel even bigger. Suddenly, you’re responsible for results and relationships. You still care about your coworkers, but you also have to set new boundaries, make fair decisions, and protect trust across the team.
We’ve been helping new leaders for a long time, and we know this is one of the hardest transitions in leadership, second only to managing a former manager. Here’s what’s important to remember when navigating this important shift.
1. Address the Elephant in the Room
The truth is undefeated. Everyone notices when team dynamics change. Pretending nothing is different only makes it harder later. When you become the leader, acknowledge the change with honesty and humility.
Try opening the conversation with transparency: “I know this change may feel different for both of us. Our friendship still matters to me, and I also want to be clear about how we’ll work together, now that my role has changed.”
This simple statement helps your team see that you’re not avoiding the obvious. It builds psychological safety and trust which is the foundation of every great team.
2. Be Fair, and Be Seen Being Fair
As leaders, it’s not enough to be fair. We must also show fairness through our actions and communication. Former peers may wonder, Will they still give special treatment to their friends? You can ease those worries by clearly explaining how you make decisions about scheduling, promotions and responsibilities.
Transparency is one of your strongest tools for protecting trust. Share the “why” behind your choices and be consistent in how you apply standards. When your team understands your process, they’re more likely to believe in it.
3. Redefine Relationships (Without Losing Respect)
Not every friendship needs to end, but it will need to evolve. Our framework for managing former peers encourages leaders to think in terms of contextual friendships: relationships that were meaningful in a certain setting (like work) but may naturally change as roles shift.
You don’t need to stop caring about people, but you may need to redefine what those relationships look like inside the workplace. Protecting trust sometimes means setting limits, like rotating lunch partners or ensuring social time includes everyone. Remember, the second your team thinks you’re putting one person over the group, you lose credibility as a leader.
4. Don’t Move Faster Than the Speed of Trust
It’s tempting to jump in and start fixing everything right away. After all, you finally have the authority to make those changes you’ve always wanted! But big changes without trust can backfire. We like to keep it simple and say: Trust first, change second.
If you want to make a big change, make sure you’ve built enough trust to support it. Start small. Celebrate wins. Catch people doing things right. As trust grows, so does your ability to lead transformation effectively.
5. Give Time to Your Team and to Yourself
Transitions take time. Be patient with your former peers and with yourself. Schedule regular one-on-ones, ask for feedback and lean on mentors who’ve been there before. Leadership isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about modeling enough humility to ask for help.
6. Focus on Strengths and Development
Great leaders see what their people do best and create opportunities for them to shine. Ask your team questions like:
- “What part of your job energizes you most?”
- “Where do you feel you add the most value?”
Building on strengths creates engagement and loyalty. It also helps shift the dynamic from “peer” to “partner in success.” It’s also a core piece of our StrengthsFinder-based approach to team development.
7. Lead Yourself with Integrity
You can’t control what others say about you, but you can control what’s true about you. Know your core values and live them consistently. When you act with integrity, communicate clearly and focus on fairness, you build a foundation that no rumor can shake.
Final Thought
Managing former peers isn’t just about setting new rules. It’s also about protecting trust while growing into your new role. It’s about being honest, fair and intentional. And like all meaningful leadership work, it takes time.
Remember: your goal isn’t to distance yourself from your team, it’s to lead them forward with clarity, compassion and confidence.
Contact ServiStar Consulting to Transform Your Credit Union’s Culture
If your credit union is looking to reshape its culture around service, sales and leadership, ServiStar Consulting can help. Since 1998, we have worked side-by-side with credit unions to build and sustain a culture of high-performance. To learn more about how we can partner with you to create a culture of high-performance, fill out our digital contact form or schedule a call today.
‍